Katherine Arnold Wolf Updates

Dear Close Friends and Family,

I write to you with some really exciting news: WE ARE HOME OWNERS! In the midst of a really crazy situation, we decided to jump into the Los Angeles housing market and buy a home (you can laugh now). We actually had been looking for a place to live in for over a year before my brain injury. I have always really loved one area of LA– Culver City! We had looked extensively around there and had come close to putting an offer in on a house before my injury. This current place is so much better than the one we previously considered and meets our needs right now in a unique way.

The property has so many things that we need. I must admit what we care about now and what we used to care about are so different. Above all, this house is in the heart of Culver City and within walking distance (by about 2 blocks) to restaurants, parks, movie theaters, multiple shops, and above all my very favorite grocery store: Trader Joes! There is even a great children’s day care literally ½ a block away and a wonderful public elementary school a ½ a block down the other way. Many of our close friends live within a few blocks too! Our dear friends Lauren and Don Miller live just a block away and they host our Bel Air Pres. small group so we will walk over every week!

Culver City is really centrally located, so UCLA Hospital, LAX Airport, the beach, Beverly Hills, and our Church are all about 15 minutes away. In the future, I will probably do out-patient therapy at UCLA, and it will be so convenient. Much closer than Pomona!

I know this could seem like the worst time to buy a home, but at some point, we will need somewhere to live. Since our medical help, health insurance, rehabilitation services, Jay’s future work, and our fabulous Church support system are all in this area, it is natural that we settle down in Culver City and let God continue to grow our miracle. Bottom line, we needed a home and now we have one! I could not be happier.

I have actually been in the home we bought many times. Several of our friends from Young Marrieds have rented this house. In fact, I helped host a baby shower for my friend Bobbi at this very house two days before my injury. I have even cut up little Tea sandwiches in that kitchen!

I hope you will rejoice with us as we take this big step toward home ownership and growing up! Please, keep praying for us, especially Jay, too. He will take the Bar Exam July 28-30th. The combination of a brain injured wife, a 20 month old baby, buying a house and taking the Bar Exam is A LOT of stress. We can handle it though.

Love to you all!

Love,
The Wolfs

Yesterday, I did water therapy for the very first time. Jay and Cousin Natalie came as a way of showing support. Sadly, the same issues that plague my body out of the water plague me in the water. There is one notable difference: the consequences! If you fall in the pool, it does not matter as much! I am so excited to keep up this therapy and get closer and closer to my ultimate goal: TO WALK AGAIN!

Putting on a swimsuit and getting in a pool were amazing. The last time I was in a swimming pool was the Friday (April 18, 2008) before my AVM rupture on the 21st. Jay and I took James to swim at Pepperdine’s pool. It was one of his first times to swim, and he loved it. Interestingly, right after we were done swimming, I felt incredibly strange and very faint and I almost couldn’t walk. It quickly passed, and I didn’t think too much of it (an allergic reaction?, morning sickness again!?) but now, I know that it was the beginning of my AVM rupturing.

That could have easily been my last time to take my baby swimming. James loves the water so much now. My mom takes him swimming in the pool at her apartment in LA, and he cries when he has to get out. I now feel like one day, after I get more stable in the water, I can experience that joy with him again. There is something so healing about the water to me. I am so happy to be back in it again!

Recent Article

This a newspaper article written about Katherine last week. In case there was any doubt, my wife is incredible.

http://www.sgvtribune.com/highlanders/ci_12620691

All the best-
Jay

I wish it would just behave! My entire right side was severely weakened in the rupture, and my hand still shakes uncontrollably. If I tried to hold a glass of water in that hand, it would almost immediately spill. This is why I cannot change a diaper, hold a fork, type on a computer, or even write a letter with this hand. Using the right hand for any of those activities is a fine motor skill, and I cannot do those YET!

This (besides my inability to walk) is the reason I cannot take care of James. By the way, the worst thing finally did happen. Do you ever feel like you are in a really bad dream? I know that feeling all too well. On Mother’s Day of all days, I hit James in the face with my right hand. I know I cried louder than he did. Mom held me while I sobbed and Jay held James. It was awful! My wise Aunt Terry reminded me that ‘Mothering is done with the heart, not the hands’. Amen to that!

The good news is that this hand and arm are healing. Through time, prayer and a ton of occupational therapy, I have enough strength to move my hand and arm again. I can even move my arm straight up in the air (we attribute this to acupuncture). While it has been really terrible, I am learning so much about dependence on God through this area. Similar to the 11 months before I was able to swallow, I know there is really nothing I can do besides what I am already doing.

I want to have a normal hand soooooo badly. I feel like I am no longer in control of it at all. Perhaps this is a lesson that this control-freak, first-born needed to learn all along.

Keep praying for me. There is so much to pray for. I long for this nerve to reconnect and for my face to become un-paralyzed. I want to smile again. I want to speak just like before and above all, I WANT TO WALK. Through all of this personal hell I am living through, I am alright. Keep praying, but don’t worry. I am doing fine! As I have shared before, I feel a significant amount of Hope about my current situation. These deficits will one day be gone. Something much bigger is happening here… “The only things we can keep are the things we fully give to God.”-C.S. Lewis

We are selling the last few t-shirts that were made for the ‘Katherine Lived’ party last month, and we are considering doing a second printing. We want to give my online support team a chance to order these shirts. Particularly for those of you who only know me via the internet, this is a more tangible connection to me!

The shirts are grey and have a blue heart in hand symbol on the front (Alex Wolf, Jay’s sister, drew it). This symbol represents giving your heart fully over to God and reaching out for support from those around you. It embodies the verse I chose for 2008 (BEFORE my injury)…Psalm 86:11-13, an “Undivided Heart”.

You can see the shirt in the photo section on Caringbridge (Thanks cousin Natalie!) Printed on the inside of the shirt, there is a special message about my story and the “Undivided Heart” verse, meant to be worn close to your heart.

If you are interested in getting one, email undividedheartshirts@gmail.com with the number of shirts you would be interested in ordering. THIS IS NOT AN ORDER – we are just trying to get a feel for the number we should possibly get for a re-printing. If there is enough interest, we will begin taking orders soon!

The shirts will be for sale for $25 each which will include shipping to anywhere in the USA and any applicable taxes. All money after the costs will benefit ‘The Katherine Wolf Fund’.

Thank you as always, for your continued interest and support!

HUGE NEWS: THE FEEDING TUBE IS OUT!
I got it out yesterday and it wasn’t very painful at all. After the hole in my stomach closes up (without stitches – isn’t the body amazing?!), I will be able to take a bath for the 1st time in over a year and go swimming! They say water therapy can be really good for recovery, and I cannot wait to try it!

New Pics: My Mom posted a new album (Click Here) of pictures from this time in the life of our family. James is in an especially edible stage right now!

One Year Later Essay: I made some changes to that Essay and meant to tell you about them a long time ago. After hearing from so many of you that you passed this essay on to friends, I reread and wanted to be sure it is exactly what I wanted to say. You can go to that posting and see the changes. Some changes were as easy as adding a word or taking out something. For instance in the last paragraph, ’I believe in God because of the story of my life’ is now ‘the story of my survival’. Survival is a much more accurate word. Anyway, read or pass on this new version if you want to. BTW- it has been such a joy to hear how you are sharing my story and it is touching people. Thank you for all your emails, texts, etc. I am so moved that my story is touching people. It makes this all more bearable.

My Walking: I still cannot walk. The cerebellum controls balance and coordination, which are essential for walking and movement. Since I no longer have most of my right cerebellum, my left cerebellum has to completely relearn how to take over all the right side’s movements. This takes a long time for your brain to rewire in this way. A really long time. I have made progress in being able to somewhat walk while someone steadies me and holds me up, but it is very slow, and if I did not have major support, I would fall over. I am now using a quad cane, which is a cane with 4 prongs on it, giving it a steadier base. I have tried to crawl many times and I cannot do that either, but I am hoping to be able to crawl one day soon. You know the adage, “You have to crawl before you can walk” – well I am taking that literally! There are so many aspects of walking to think about, which makes re-learning it very difficult. From actually having to think about how I am shifting my weight to the exact placements of my feet and slight bending of my right knee, it is one of the more difficult and frustrating challenges in my recovery. Major prayer is needed! I want to walk again so badly.

My Swallow: Thanks for all your support about the eating. I am glad I was able to clarify about the bread vs Carbs thing on the last posting. I know one thing for sure — when I can eat Bread again, I am planning to eat Chris Anderson’s homemade bread!!! I cannot wait to taste that stuff! Did you know FBC Montgomery gives that Bread and fresh honey from local honeycombs to all the visitors of the church? YUMMY! Sadly, my swallow is not normal at all right now and I need more prayer to be able to eat normally again one day. When I do eat, it takes me about 10 swallows to get something down and even then, it can cause major coughing. HOWEVER, of course I don’t care as long as I can eat.

Helping Us: We have so many people who are helping us. In fact, we have been so supported we have had to tell people that they cannot come out here even a year later! My amazing family has all been out here in May- Mom, Dad, Amie and Grace, and the ever-loving Mary Austin. Mary Ruth and Natalie are here now. Natalie Jehn (Jay’s 1st cousin) will be here for the summer and my cousin, Michelle, will come in July. Our lives are pretty crazy with a 19 month old, my injury, and Jay taking the BAR in July. As the old adage goes, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going”. Amen and Amen.

Hope: I feel one the main themes to come out of this season is my understanding of Hope. I know that Suffering can produce Hope and that is where I am. It is irrational, but it is there. Romans 5 says that “…. we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Big Jay shared about my story and Hope in his Easter sermon this year. Here is the link if you want to hear it. If you are short on time, start it on 21:45 mins to 28:45. Those seven minutes are really worth hearing. If you have time, feel free to listen to the whole thing. The part he says about the rats and hope is fascinating to me. Sometimes I feel like one of those rats! I keep treading water because there is HOPE!

Love you all! TALK to you soon!!!!

Post-Surgery: I am healing really well from my facial surgery. The scars are still visible, but the scars will heal in time and fade in to my skin. The most painful thing has actually been my leg where they took the nerve out. It has been throbbing. My stitches have all been coming out, and now it is time to watch and wait (I love you, D-Group). As Micah 7:7 says, “But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.” As for me, I will watch and I will wait and I know my God will hear me.

My Eating: I am still eating and enjoying it more than I could articulate. The taste of food makes me so grateful. I just love it! I have now gained 23 pounds. I think the food is really helping me to regain weight (which is key in the healing process). There seems to be some confusion. I cannot eat any Bread, but I can eat most Carbs. Actually, the main foods that I am eating are Carbs (you don’t gain all the weight that I have without Carbs)! Mashed Potatoes, Doughnuts, French Fries, Cake, and Pasta are all staples in my diet. Like I have shared, I cannot eat raw vegetables or bread. I also cannot eat meat. We went to Subway last week, and I could have nothing on the entire menu. (no salads – no sandwiches, etc.) It was such a strange moment for me.

My Eye: We went to a doctor’s appointment last week and he confirmed what we already knew. I will have to have surgery to correct the strabismus (crossed eye). Otherwise, it will stay turned in to the middle and my double vision will remain. The good news is that there is no rush to have this surgery done, and it will likely really help me to see better. It can be corrected whenever I want it which is quite different than the facial surgery!

My Voice: People are having a much easier time understanding me! Thank you for your sweet prayers after my posting about it. There is a difference in the quality of my voice and the sound is getting better. I am adjusting to the Palatal-lift and it is certainly helping me speak more clearly. I am also just gaining confidence and speaking up whenever I can. If I have to repeat myself, then I will and it is fine! I have actually been told by several family members that I need to stop talking so loud! Ahhh….. the irony!

Love you all – keep praying for me. The road to full recovery is the road I am taking. I feel as though I am being carried on that long journey through your support.

I have a dear friend who dealt with infertility for several years. She took the words of this verse and rewrote them to fit her situation. I have copied her and done the same thing (You know Anne of Green Gables says that ‘imitation is the highest form of flattery!’).

This verse is so true. I will rejoice in the Lord NO MATTER my condition.

Habakkuk 3:17-18 (New International Version)

17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,

18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

My Version:

Though I cannot walk
And I am confined to a wheelchair,
Though half my face is paralyzed
And I cannot even smile,
Though I am extremely impaired
And I cannot take care of my own baby boy,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

Dear Katherine and Jay:

Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend the party this evening due to last minute obligations at the hospital. However, I want to share with you, your family and friends my deepest feelings of joy for this opportunity to celebrate the miracle of your life and recovery.

On April 21, 2008, I was on-duty as Vascular Neurosurgeon for UCLA when I received a call from the alarmed resident covering the ER regarding a case of a young patient with a large intracerebral bleeding associated to a giant arteriovenous malformation of the cerebellum and the brainstem. In addition to the extremely concerning size and location of the vascular malformation, involving some of the most delicate and vital portions of the central nervous system that in essence keep us alive and allow us to breath and be alert, the pressure produced by the bleeding had displaced portions of the cerebellum outside the skull into the spinal canal in the neck, a condition known as tonsilar herniation, which is almost always associated with a fatal prognosis.

Under this very difficult circumstances I met one of the most wonderful families I have ever had the opportunity to encounter in my career. I also had to make one of the hardest decisions I have ever faced, and the one that constitutes the first of multiple events that can only be qualified as miracles. Knowing the severity of her disease, I had a short conversation with Jay to inform him that the situation was tremendously grave and that even a successful surgery to decompress the hematoma and remove the vascular malformation will be associated most likely with devastating effects including a high likelihood of leaving Katherine in a permanent vegetative state.

With the permission of her family, but more importantly with their trust and unconditional faith, I took Katherine for a long and exhausting 16 hours operation. I never look at the clock in the OR; however, I did notice how several shifts of anesthesiologists and assistants went by. Nevertheless, the complexity of her lesion was such that my attention was completely devoted to the surgical field, and by the end of the surgery I could not tell that we had been there for more than 7 or 8 hours.

Few hours later I received an unusual call from the nursing staff. Katherine was following commands. This is a sign of great importance for recovery, but it was completely unexpected in such a short time after a very extensive and lengthy surgery. Not even in conditions where the surgery has been carefully planned for days and where the pathology is under complete control at all times with no associated hemorrhages or elevated intracranial pressure, not even in those ideal conditions we expect patients to follow commands immediately after the operation.

That was the first step of a long journey that kept Katherine for 40 days in the ICU and for more than three months in acute rehab. I have been profoundly honored because I had the opportunity of taking Katherine¹s hand to give with her that first step of the rest of her life. I have been overwhelmed with joy because your prayers achieved what medical skills and knowledge could not do alone. More especially, I have been blessed with the friendship of a couple and a family which faith and love have been an inspiration for me, my team, and all who have witnessed her amazing story.

Warmest regards,

Nestor Gonzalez, M.D.

In the aftermath of my big facial reanimation surgery, I feel like there was no time to tell you about the “Katherine Lived” party that some of my friends organized just before that. The party was an incredible way to celebrate the one -year anniversary of my AVM rupture. I am very blessed to have such amazingly sweet friends. At the end of the night, I felt celebrated and cherished. I received an email the morning after the party from a guest that wrote in the subject line, “The Party of the Year.” I received many calls, emails and texts like that all day long. I could not agree more. Here is a little about it:

Some of our closest friends in LA were there to celebrate. I should tell you that ‘there’ is the beautiful home of Jen and David Houck. This is the house where I enjoyed a wonderful brunch after church the day before my injury… my last “normal” day. Jay (and his family, at times) was very graciously invited to stay there for almost six weeks when I was in the hospital because of how close the home is to UCLA. Thus, the home has a special significance for us. Liz Simmons, my sweet friend from college, and our friends Matt and Kasey McCartie hosted/planned/organized and executed the event, along with the Houcks. It was incredible in every way. The Houck’s gorgeous home is in the heart of Bel-Air, and overlooks the whole city. The cityscape of Los Angeles was a natural choice for the celebration because of our love for LA and our wonderful support group there.

In addition to this being a time of celebration, the party was also a benefit. My dear friends had planned that the celebration should have a two-fold purpose. They wanted both to ‘party’ and to raise money toward helping pay all my many medical bills. There was a wine-tasting, silent auction, t-shirts for sale, and direct giving available to benefit the “Katherine Wolf Fund.” The event was very successful and will be so helpful for paying all of these insane medical bills.

There were so many unique elements to the party. There was live music performed by many close friends. Anna and Andy, JT and Syd, Andrew, and Liz all performed. Liz sang the song ‘Rise Up’ that she wrote for me while I was still in ICU. There was a slideshow of pictures from this past year. A special symbol was displayed for me and this year in my life throughout the house. The symbol was on the t-shirt as well. The symbol is of a hand with a heart in the middle of it. It is a hand reaching out for help and reaching up to God. The heart inside the hand is a symbol of a verse that I felt summarized what I wanted to learn in 2008. The verse is Psalm 86:11 and talks about having an ‘undivided heart’. That’s what I wanted.

We had people fly in from all over the country including my grandmother from Georgia, Cam Swift Addison, who is six months pregnant, and Sarah Ott from Alabama. Above all, my entire immediate family was able to be there and celebrate. Dad, Mom, Amie and Grace were all there. We had a time of recognition for Jay as well. My dear friend, Kelli, got a present for me to give him and I was able to SAY (read below) a public thank you for all he has done for me. I said that above all, this past year has really been a love story. His support has been amazing. I agree with his father, Jay has been a combination of Romeo, Hercules, and Jesus. I don’t want to start crying, so I will tell you more about the party, not about Jay.

In the middle of the party, there was a time of remembrance over all that has happened in this last year. Jay acted as Emcee and did an incredible job. Alex (Jay’s youngest sister) made a video of the last year from footage Jay had both in video and in photographs. I am going to get that video turned in to a link so you all can see it. The video was incredibly moving and made me cry even though I had seen it once before! The footage of Jay’s Law School Graduation, our apartment at Pepperdine, and one particular photo of James all make me cry.

After the video, we were going to have my brain surgeon, Dr. Gonzales, share about saving my life. He was called in to surgery to save someone else’s life, so he wrote a beautiful letter about the night of April 21, 2008. Because he could not be there, we had our pastor, Mark Brewer, read the letter (I am going to post it online as well). It was quite moving to hear how near death I really was. After that, my first Physical Therapist at Casa Colina, Awon, shared about my progress and at the end of her sharing I used a cane and walked a few steps by the pool with my current PT, Esther! It was an extraordinary moment, everyone cheered!

Next, my dear friend, Lindsay Hall, read a shortened version of the ‘One Year Later’ essay I wrote. She was able to convey, through my own words, my deep desire to walk, care for my child, have a face that looks normal and a voice that sounds normal. Many people were very struck by my repeated use of the word “happen” throughout the essay. Friends still cannot believe that Jay came home for lunch that day and saved my life. Lindsay did a wonderful job of giving voice to my words. However, what happened next was really special.

I spoke! I overcame massive insecurities about this new voice and decided to take the microphone. I want to share with you what I shared with everyone there… Every year since Jay and I have been married, we have had a joint birthday party, and every party has had three elements…this year would be no exception! We always have a theme, I always cry talking about our wonderful friends, and we have an announcement every year.

So…First, the theme of the party was ‘Keep LA fabulous’. In the vein of the famous Texas expression, “Keep Austin Weird,” we could not have had a more fitting theme for our party this year. With the beautiful home in Bel-Air and gorgeous cityscape, the theme seemed natural. The Cheese Shop of Beverly Hills catered the event, and they had some of my favorite foods (Tuna Tartar and asparagus wrapped in prosciutto) passed on platters by the wait staff. After the time of remembrance, Sprinkles Cupcakes and Stan’s Doughnuts (my two favorite desserts now) were served for the guests. These are both LA mainstays and reinforced our theme. Many thanks to all who contributed!

Every year Jay and I have a short time of sharing at our party. Inevitably, I start to cry as we thank our sweet friends for being a family to us in LA. As you can imagine, there is no way to express the deep gratitude, peace and blessing that has come from what our community of friends has done for us in this last year. You all know what a loyal community looks like, because you have been one! I have received mail every single day except two of this past year. Can you believe that? When I was in the hospital at UCLA, meals were provided for my family for the 4 months I was there. True devotion!

Lastly, we always have an announcement at our party. Two years ago at our fiesta party, we announced that I was pregnant with James! Most people there had no idea that was coming. This year, the announcement was the most special we have ever had. I yelled this announcement into the Mic: “Katherine Lived!” This announcement was definitely a reason to party! I am so grateful to be here, no matter what the challenges.

Thanks to all of you who contributed or donated in any way. We couldn’t have made it through the past year without your love, support, and prayers.

God bless you!