I’m too blessed to be bitter.
I’ve gotten a lot of pretty bad news lately. I won’t go into many of the details now but needless to say, recently doctors and therapists have told me some tough things to hear. Some of you already know about a few of these.
A few “highlights” (that just seems wrong to write that word about this):
My main eye surgeon (Dr. Velez) is not certain if my brain can fuse one image again. Operating a third time on the muscle could cause the double vision to get significantly worse. His hope is that I will eventually “go dim” in my right eye and just see out of my left (thus one image). I will have a surgery (most likely in early July – I will post the date when it has been confirmed) to lift my eyelid so I can see more clearly and so that it will look more normal. They will also insert a gold weight into my upper eyelid which will help it to fully close when I blink. Thinking about all of this eye stuff is sad to me because this was supposed to be an easy fix. From day 1, the double vision was supposed to be alleviated by an easy strabismus surgery. I never could have imagined that this would be something so different than that.
*My OT has confirmed what I have been (painfully) feeling for weeks: my LEFT shoulder (“the good one”) is now subluxed in addition to the right one. Because I am not doing things with this arm/hand/shoulder that I used to do because of my poor balance (like pushing open doors), the left shoulder has also become partially dislocated. Please keep my shoulders in your prayers – the rain and cold here in LA recently has meant I have had some pretty bad pain in them, akin to arthritis pain, I guess. I now understand why senior adults move to Florida.
*I am definitely “right hand dominant” my therapists have determined through various tests. This means it is extremely difficult for me to switch and use the left hand for all of the things from writing to typing to cooking that I used to do with the right hand. Sadly, it will not be an easy feat if decide to switch hands. My OT is now trying to train my left hand to develop more coordination.
As many of you may remember from when I shared this, I currently have a brain aneurysm. Strangely, these latest set backs and problems evoke a similar response in me that the news of the aneurysm did. It’s OK. I will never lose heart. Despair is not an option. In fact, I will rejoice in all circumstances.
Phiilipians 4:7, “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
Maybe I have been given the opportunity to cultivate that deep feeling of peace. I will count it a blessing.
Speaking of a blessing, I had a special one on Thursday. I think I have the most thoughtful friends EVER. The Wolfs were having a rare morning at home with no preschool or therapy. My sweet friend Mia drove over here, put James’ carseat in her car, and drove us (with her own daughter) to Cora’s house for a play date and picnic lunch. Cora has twin 2 year olds who are just delicious.
So, 2 boys and 2 girls and 3 happy mommies. Yes, I wrote happy. I’ve been in a little bit of a funk recently. All this hard news, people writing mean comments on my mom’s blog, other tough stuff in my private life involving people I love (yes, I do have a whole life to deal with outside of my injury) and James being a semi-bratty (typical, I know) 3 year old, have all just kinda thrown me. I’m just not totally myself or something.
The lunch was delicious! We had a divine meat-free*quiche, a carmelized onion and goat cheese tart, and a raspberry vinaigrette salad. Cora even had my favorite beverage on hand – lime flavored sparkling water. Good food makes me very happy. This meal did just that.
This picnic lunch and the time with these little cuties was strategic and about much more than just lunch and a playdate. It made me remember what really matters in life. Mia and Cora knew what they were doing. They are true friends. They let me cry a little about some recent news, they pushed James on the swing, gave him toys to play with and they fed us both cupcakes. Those all make for a happy mommy and son.
This picture is Cora and me and all four of the cuties. Sadly, Mia was taking it and not in it. I’ll just have to post a pic of her soon! She is beautiful and very talented!!!!
*For almost a year now, I have been a “pescetarian”. After almost a year of eating meat with some very negative effects (sweating, eyes watering, the sensation of choking, etc.), I finally gave it up for the most part. I also saw Food, Inc. and Fast Food Nation and just decided I shouldn’t fight so hard for something that may not be so great for me anyway. PESCEtarian means I totally eat seafood (different texture than normal pieces of meat) and I eat eggs, dairy, nuts, and other sources of protein. I always appreciate the thoughtfulness of friends who provide meat-free options.
P.S. Websites take a long time to come together! Mine is still very much in process. I’ve run into a number of glitches, but for now, I’m going to keep writing here, and I promise that sometime soon, there will be somewhere new to find me — and there may even be some innovative things about it to enjoy when you get there.
Also, this is very cool. Please Do this
**Thank you for always supporting causes that I care about. Just to tell you a little of what you have helped do this past few months: Alison’s grandmother in Indiana got 137 birthday cards! Kerri Clark won the contest in Birmingham and will travel to NYC! Alison won the competition and the Mercy Clinic in Athens was awarded money to see more of the uninsured in Northeast GA. You all fully funded getting JuicePlus gummies to LA Foster children at Impacting Hearts for a year.
Point of gratitude: Sweet friends – some I know and some I’ve never met (many of you!)!