Today, November 6th, was Katherine and my 4th wedding anniversary. As I walked Katherine back from an early morning trip to the bathroom, I rigged our wedding DVD to start playing at the bridal procession. After a few seconds, the strains of “Trumpet Voluntary” ignited memories in Katherine’s mind, sending a sweet, crooked smile across her face. I knew that Katherine’s “procession” this morning, though in a bathrobe with her eye patched, was far more beautiful than her walk down the aisle on our wedding day.
We continued to slowly make our way back to the bed, in the now familiar, swaying dance/walk that we find ourselves in every day now. Memories of how we danced to the band for hours at our reception came racing back. Even if we won’t be dancing that way for a while still, I get to lead my wife in a new kind of dance all the time. Instead of a soulful band singing classic oldies, we often “dance” to sad songs, people yelling, or James crying, but the times that we hear those carefree songs, people cheering, or James laughing are the most exquisite dances imaginable.
We lay in bed watching the wedding DVD before getting ready for our day of therapy. The two people on the screen were so young, so innocent. In just four years, those two people now find themselves at a neuro rehabilitation hospital in Pomona, CA. The bride, though now unable to walk herself down any aisle or clearly speak her wedding vows or eat her beloved wedding cake, is somehow, impossibly more radiant now than she was then. Now, she glows with the light of new life. Those two giddy newlyweds are still in here, somewhere deep down. We’ve been battered, but we are not broken. We’ve experienced things that two 26 year olds should never have to experience, but we’ve also been filled to overflowing by the immeasurable blessings of our Lord. Nothing on this journey is wasted.
My Dad performed our wedding ceremony. As we listened to his words preceding the vows, we could not help but transport ourselves back to the moments on that altar. My Dad spoke of the inevitable storms of life, and the necessity of building our home on the rock-solid foundation of Christ. How could we have ever imagined what our lives would be like less than 4 years later? This huge storm has swept over our home, threatening to take it all away, but by the grace of God, our little home is still here. I could not be more proud of the family that remains.
These days, grasping at normalcy or reminiscing on the old life most often brings a cold reminder that things are not as they used to be. Sadness can often overshadow what were once celebratory occasions, but not today because on this day of remembering our sacred vows of marriage, things are just as they were promised to be.
Well said, Jay. You really should post a warning at the top of the post for anyone who can’t afford a few minutes of misty-eyed reflection on God’s grace mediated through marriage. Then again, maybe not.
Prayers and thanksgivings ascending for y’all today.
Jay…..Boy do I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN in this post! I have been married for 2.5 years and have been avm free for over a year now.
Your thoughts are so normal! I cant tell you how many times my husband and I have talked about this. Our once easy lives were quickly taken away from us…I was 21 when we first found out about my AVM. Our normal lives were traded in for something so much greater. We are so thankful for life and for Jesus! WE try to love every minute of it. I cried when reading your post…every morning I get up and I go to this website to check for a new post. I do know that Katherine and I are so lucky to have such great and supporting husbands! In todays times…its so hard to find someone that loves you in sickness and in health! We are truly, truly blessed!!!!!!
can I marry you? (kidding) you are such a reflection of what a Godly man looks like…bless you for your love for Kat and the strong hold to a bright future, and yet seeing the joys that come with the trials.
It always takes me extra time to read the posts as I have a hard time reading through the tears
HAPPY FOUR YEARS!!!!
This was beautiful. Life is beautiful. I fervently pray that the beauty you see continues to grow and is always a perfect reflection of the light and love of Christ.
Live beautifully together. Today. Always.
God bless you both as you remember your union.
May God continue to bless you, Katherine and your family. Your story is such an inspiration and it is so awesome to see such strong conviction of faith. Thank you for sharing your journey with us and I will continue to pray for Katherine’s recovery and your entire family’s well being.
Happy Anniversary Katherine & Jay!
Thank you for blessing us with your amazing words each week — you are truely living examples of God’s love and we are so lucky you are sharing your experiences with us as you are.
Keep taking care of each other, it is awesome to think about how amazing your stories will be four years from now!
Love,
Lori
(BAP-YM)
You are a great husband and father, Jay. You have a beautiful family. God is good.
What a blessing you are to Katherine and to those who get to witness your life together during this difficult time. I do not know the two of you personally but I am so thankful that you share who you are on this blog and allow others the chance to see God work in your lives. You are both truly a blessing to me and I wish you many, many more wonderful years together.
Dear Jay, Katherine and James:
There is not one day since I met you that I haven’t prayed for all of you, your entire beautiful family. You are an example of love, dedication and courage.
It’s hard to imagine such a huge change in life! As a mother myself I feel for all of you in many different ways and I keep praying and praying for miracles to keep happening.
It’s sweet to know that we will always share two important dates; November 6th.: your anniversary and our daughter Mercedes’ birthday and April 1st.: our anniversary and Jay’s birthday.
Love,
Florencia
Happy Anniversary!!! I have often thought to myself that Katherine is very lucky to have married you–honestly, if this situation were to befall other people that I know, I’m not sure that they would still be together. I pray for you, Katherine and James all the time–and I am so glad that you have each other. I know this road is a tough one, but I think that is why God picked you guys to walk it–because he knew that you could. I hope that there are continued successes that help affirm your way and I seriously cannot wait till I read one of these updates and you let us all know that Katherine has swallowed her first bit of food and is walking on her own. I know that day is coming!! You, Katherine and your family really are a true source of inspiration and I’m so grateful that you have chosen to share your experiences with us.
Much love,
Desiree
What a beautiful writing, Jay. May God bless and keep all of you in His loving care.
Hello Jay-
You do not know me, but I was able to hear of your story and blog through a friend and I want to say that our family knows exactly what you are going through because three years ago my 25 year old sister was in a car accident and suffered TBI and the doctors too said she was not going to make it and performed the same surgur. I read your blog and it is as if you are going through exactly what we went through just a few years behind us. With our faith in the lord and the power of prayer she is still hear recoverying with us. I just want to say that you and your family are in our prayers and Katherine will be a walking testimony for others. My sister Carmen is doing the same. Keep up the fight…Flora Lucatero and Family- Burlington, WA I left you her blog in case you want to check it out.
Jay,
Your writing brings me to tears. Katherine is so blessed to have her best friend, lover, and warrior all in one. Thinking of y’all from Alabama.
Love,
Laura
You are such an inspiration. May the Lord continue to bless you in all things and in all places and at all times. You make me want to be a better person, spouse, parent, etc.