Until yesterday, I had not worn eye-makeup since my injury. I have not been able to wear mascara, eye shadow, or anything else because of my impaired right eye. Yesterday, Jay surprised me with a photo shoot by my favorite photographer in the world, Marisu Wehrenberg (the one who took our wedding pictures and encouraged me to get into modeling in the first place Zoom-Works.com — she’s fabulous!) He knew that the change in my appearance since my stroke has been one of the hardest changes to get used to. He thought that if I could see myself as beautiful again through pictures, then I could begin to feel beautiful in my head again too. It’s been surprisingly hard, but I am really trying to embrace this.
Perhaps it is because I know that it will change one day (the nerve “took”!!!), but I decided to post this picture of me on here. I will post more later, but here is one the photographer sent me today. As you can imagine, this is hard to do. I only want you to see the pictures BEFORE my brain injury. I’ve posted a few other current pictures, but this one is up close and very real. This is my reality right now.
Though I modeled for many years, I have never been very focused on my appearance. It was always a struggle for my mom to get me to put on makeup when I was going out in public! The irony then was that someone so unconcerend with beauty ended up being a model. The irony now is that of all the areas of my brain to be affected by my stroke, one of them was my face. It’s almost been surprising how painful the facial paralysis has been.
I guess it’s human nature to be deeply affected when your outward self, the one you present to the world, undergoes a big and undesired change. I know that in the Lord’s eyes, and Jay’s too, I can never be anything but beautiful, yet I honestly don’t feel that way very much right now. I have always been naturally confident and outgoing, but the stroke’s affect on my face, voice, ability to get around on my own, hearing, sight, etc. make it hard to be that same person I once was in terms of presenting myself to the world around me. I guess I’m still figuring out how to be myself in this new self.
After taking this step to put myself out there in front of the camera again, I think I just might wear mascara again. I don’t know if I feel totally beautiful yet, but I think I feel a little more comfortable in my skin now. And that’s a good start.
You are still a beautiful lady
You don’t know me. I am new here and not sure how I came about your blog but I wanted to say I admire how brave you are. I know it must feel like you are standing naked in public…. I love your spirit and your words are incredibly honest and no nonsense. As far as your picture goes, I really think you are beautiful!
PS, It will get easier!
What courage you have! And I admire your husband for his continued devotion and support. In this tragedy, God has led you to use this experience for “a closer walk with Thee,” and with each other.
I LOVE this photo!! It is just beautiful!! Happy holidays!
HI Katherine,
I found your site via NieNie. Bless your soul, what a beautiful woman you are, long blonde hair and blue eyes, and undeniable strength to LIVE. Please know that so many people are rooting for you, and that you inspire all who read your story.
Merry Christmas
You are beautiful!
You have always been stunning and are still absolutely so!
katherine, you look GORGEOUS!!!! (as always).
You are beautiful inside and out. Your soul is so worthy of an angel’s. Don’t ever be pained by your looks.
Katherine, thank you for teaching us how to be transparent. Thank you for your courage and determination. You have always been beautiful on the outside, but I have a feeling (I haven’t known you personally) that your inner beauty is growing exponentially and enhancing that outer Katherine’s beauty. Does that make sense? Aren’t Godly husbands a blessing? They see our beauty in ways we can’t see. Trust Jay. You ARE beautiful!
Wow! That is all I can say. Your pictue and your words are incedible. You are amazing.
Beautiful.
You “inspire me”……..you are not only beautiful inside but outside as well…..God bless you…..and I pray God’s healing touch on you!
you are beautiful, and loved, and thought of every day….
Jason was about 7 – 9 years old when I knew him and I prayed that my son would be a boy just like him. I got my wish! After hearing your story, my son Carter and I have prayed for you since then. Seeing this picture of you sets my heart to “super joy!”
Your beauty shines through even more than before…this is a beauty that also shows experience, and life that is evidently more precious than was ever known. I can’t wait to see what God does with your amazing story of his grace and your survival.
You are a beautiful lady and what an inspiration to me and others. I believe you will be modeling again soon. This photo looks like a model to me. God Bless you.
YOU ARE EXTRAORDINARILY BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT.
WIIH LOVE
THE O’STEENS
As Jay has said, ‘you are much more beautiful than most people anyway.’ I would think you are more attractive now than 99.9% of people out there.
Also, I learn so much from your candor and transparency throughout your entie ordeal, You are so open and real with what is going on. It is as beautiful as you are.
I can see a glow in this picture and it is beautiful! Thanks for sharing your heart with us…you inspire me!
I think you’re even more beautiful now.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:25-26 NIV
I so enjoy reading your blog. Thank you for letting the world in on your journey.
-Anna
What an AMAZING photo! You ARE gorgeous!
Merry Christmas!
Your beauty hasn’t and will never fade away. Yours and Jay’s story inspires me continually. What a steadfast marriage and attitude you both have! May God continue to bless you, your family, and all those lives out there that you are touching.
You’re more beautiful now than ever! Merry Christmas to you and Jay and that gorgeous little boy of yours from the Hartzog family at FBC Montgomery!
Katherine, your mom and I went to school together long ago. I have followed your journey almost from the start. I check here almost daily to see your progress . Having lost a daughter 13 years ago , your life has touched me deeply. I have loved reading your posts as well as your mother’s blog. I just had to tell you that the picture is amazing . Not only from an outward appearance , but there is an inward beauty the Lord has given you that defies words. I was touched deeply this morning when I saw it. You are a true “Proverbial Woman”.
With much admiration,
John Costa
I saw a video of your story on a news feed from your Father-in-laws church from a site I got this week from Christian Computing Magazine and frankly since it was so old I looked for your blog to see if you had lived. I prayed for you this morning. My wife and I are in college and young adult ministry and I’m a contact evangelist. My wife El once had minor surgery on her lip. It froze her face somewhat as it hurt her to smile for a few days and she could not move her mouth much for fear of pulling out the stitches. As she recovered I realized how much I try to get a sense of her by expressions and her smile. I will pray you get yours back and for your healing and that your Husband will have insight into your heart as you regain the expression of your facial movements
I’ll pray for your husband also and for the stress you both have had and for your recovery. I’m sorry for the pain in your life and that God will give you grace and comfort.
Katherine,
You are beautiful!!! I am so proud of you and admire you for doing this. I can only imagine how tough it was but you did it. Jason had a great idea in doing this. I can’t wait to see you and hear you speak on the 20th. Keep going…… don’t give up……. keep shining for Jesus his beauty comes through you no matter if it was before that April day or after. Much, much love!!! Reba
My son Jamie and your Jayson (as he was known then) were in First Baptist Alexandria, the whole time Jay was the minister. He was a darling little boy and Jamie just loved him. I am so impressed with you and how you are handling this. Obviously, God created Jay just for you. He seem so supportive and loving. And now your own little James is getting close to Jay’s age (4 yrs old) when I first knew him. Jay grew into a wonderful Christian man and made a wonderful Christian wife for him May you two and little James have a wonderful life that just keeps getting better and better.
Katherine, you have no idea how beautiful you are. This picture is gorgeous. Oh, to look like you.
Katherine, you are beautiful inside and OUT! Jason is more like Jay than I ever envisioned!!! So encouraging and kind. I’m very prouf of both of you. Your words have been encouraging and challenging to a multitude of people around the world. I love you and pray for you daily.
Dear Kathrine I found your blog while googling for info on brain injury. Here is my story in a nutshell, on the 28th of October 2008 the Leslie family was victims of an armed robbery at home. Dennis, my husband, sustained brain injury after been kicked in the head by one of the perpetrators and experiences some of the same symptoms as you.
I print your updates regularly so that he can read and be motivated by your experinces. We pray for you everyday to regain your facial and body movements. Always remember we serve a God whose blessings are new every morning.
Katherine,
Look at you…you SHINE!!! You eminate the grace, dignity, purpose, and yes, total beauty that God created in you.
This photo is unbelievably gorgeous-and speaking of another photo you put up on here (I meant to comment on it before) I was reading that letter you posted to the CEO of Casa Colina and looked at the picture. I stared and stared at it and thought it was kind of strange that you put a picture up of all the people that helped you, including your husband and James and you yourself werent in it. It wasnt until I read the whole letter that you pointed yourself out in the picture and I had to go back and look more closely! I confess I guess I was looking for someone who “looked different” from everyone else and it surprised me somewhat how “normal” you looked. Thank you for sharing your life with us strangers. Merry Christmas
Katherine,
You are a very beautiful woman. Period. God has blessed you inside and out! Every time I read another of your posts, I am struck by how much you exemplify the kind of beauty sought by so many women but found by so few.
May God richly bless you and your family today and all of this CHRISTmas season!
You look beautiful. And more importantly the true beauty in you has never changed! Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Dear Katherine…
I have follow your journey since it began a year and a half ago……God has BIG PLANS for you and Jay and James…….I see your family as an precious witness to GOD’S miracialous power and love…..your strength has truly come from a loving and dependent relationship with OUR FATHER……
I am truly amazed by the strength…devotion…and constant hope GOD has given to you through your devoted husband Jay……
As the BIBLE says ….there is beauty after the ashes……you have been blessed with beauty (both spiritual and physical)……throughout your journey……
I pray that this Christmas will be filled with the light and beauty of the CHRISTCHILD…..and that the new year will bring continued good health…to you,Jay and James!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Hi Kat…………you’ve always shone to those around you (post injury) that you are beautiful on the inside with your loving spirit and grace. These new photo’s show a HOT MAMA! I’m so proud of your understanding that the trauma of your injury is only temporary. For a wrinkle in time, in God’s world. You will always be beautiful in Jay and James’ lives. The two men who love you unconditionally. Jay is such a piece of granite for old guys like me to sharpen themselves against.
Let me know if you need me to pick you up at LAX after Christmas to return to the west side.
Absolutely stunning! You continue to amaze and inspire me. I wish you, Jay, James and the rest of the Wolf and Arnold families a very Merry Christmas. You all so deserve it!
WOW!!! You look AMAZING in that photo! I look at that picture and can hardly believe all you have been through in the last year. And nice work, Jay! That was an awesome present!!!
You are such an amazing person, beautiful inside and out, and I think we are all better for knowing you and having the privilege of reading this blog.
I hope you continue to have an amazing holiday season; this is the first of many special times, I’m sure!
What a BEAUTIUL, BEAUTIFUL picture of an AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL LADY. God bless you….you are so precious!
I love you so much Katherine. You are so lucky to be who you are.
xoxo
Erin
Katherine, I heard your father-in-law preach at First Baptist in Eufaula before this happened to you and then I thought what an amazing man he was for the Lord. Now, having followed your progress from the beginning, I am even more amazed at how God has worked in your family. You have inspired me on many days when I was a little down for no significant reason……I often use your wonderful spirit to minister to others who are feeling hopeless or helpless. Thank you for sharing this experience with us…..so many people retreat into their own world and don’t want the world to see them when they are going through difficult circumstances….you are very generous and I feel that you are fulfilling God’s purpose by showing us His power in your life. I know that He has great things in store for you and your wonderful family. You are a shining example to the world of God’s infinite wisdom and power. Thank you for the opportunity to respond to this beautiful picture of you!
You are beautiful! I know the intimate shock of having to get used to a new you and a new life. I am heading into my 4th brain surgery this Monday for a condition that causes my brain to herniate out of the skull into the spine. My hair has just finally grown from the last one, but it will grow back again. I follow your story and it gives me profound hope and I am grateful your powerful testimony.
Blessings, peace and love.
Katherine, Your inner beauty shows. You will always be beautiful to those who love you and the gift you have given by sharing your story with others will continue to give on and on. Keep smiling! You are beautiful. Cathy Flagg
Katherine, I have never met you but have followed your journey from day-1. From the photos I’ve seen of before and after your injury, I think you are even more beautiful now! God Bless you and Merry Christmas!
Katherine,
You are amazing….brave….and beautiful. God Bless you and your family this holiday season.
You look great! Thanks for showing this “after” photo! I am still praying and believing for a FUUL recovery for you! So glad the nerve ‘took’!!! I hope this truly helps you to begin to feel back to your old self.
Katherine We have followed your story since the very first; I get your e-mails and we feel like you are a member of our family. You are beautiful. I know you are going to recover fully. God bless you, Jay and James and all your family members. Love Gloria and Andy Griggs.
Katherine, I have been following your story since the beginning and just wanted to say hello. I was at Samford the same time you were there (I graduated in 05), but I’m not sure we ever actually met. I knew who you were, and I think we may have had a class together. Anyway, THANK YOU for your transparent posts. I am so thankful that you have chosen not to waste your sorrows–the peace of God is evident in your life!
Thank you Katherine for sharing your thoughts and words – and now this beautiful photo.
Katherine, I pray God will continue to allow progress for you.
I too am a stroke survivor. I am home bound now. God be with you.