(I’m so sorry it has been so long since I have written. Did 2 weeks just go by? I don’t have an excuse – I’m just sorry!)
I’ve always been good at blocking out things. – Things that are painful or sad or negative. I just forget them (on purpose, I think). Well, this last week I have chosen to do the opposite of that. I have consciously remembered where I have been and I have allowed myself to dream about where that means I am going. You see, two years ago on October 24th, 2008, I was able to move back in with my family after living in hospitals for 6 and a half months.
I have sung the praises of Casa Colina. You may have even read the thank you letter that I wrote to the CEO there. It was a wonderful place of healing for me. However, it was hard and sad in many ways during those first few months. It was the darkest season of my life for sure. Living in the hospital was really tough. Really tough. I lived among people with severe brain injuries. I could not even drink water yet, and my room was near a kitchen where therapists were teaching people to cook/bake again, so I had to wheel by cookies and cupcakes almost everyday. I think I really began to understand what terrible shape I was in once I got there. I can remember working out in Physical Therapy and feeling a type of frustration I had never felt before in my life. My body just wouldn’t work and it made my skin crawl. It was so sad.
Last year at this time, I was still at Casa, so I couldn’t reflect back because I was still living and in therapy there. This is the first time that I can really reflect on that season of my life and thank God that it is over.
Moving in with Jay and James and out of the Transitional Living Center was so good for me. It was healing to sleep in the bed with my husband again and wake up to my son in the next room in the morning (even though I couldn’t go see him; I just felt better knowing we were so close to each other).
Anyway, I gave the girls in my bible study little journals this past week. I wrote Jeremiah 31:21 in them. That verse is about remembering the past by putting up signs so you won’t forget what happened.
I will always remember my life in the Fall of 2008. That informs what the future looks like for me.
Point of Gratitude: How far I’ve come. When I even think back to two years ago, I am so grateful for my tremendous recovery so far. There is nothing to even say except that science says this is not possible, but it IS happening.